ALERT ALERT !
Someone needs to cheer me up honestly. I was thinking about this time last year. I suddenly all the emotioned I felt last year came and bit me in the ass. This time last year I felt really sad because Matt was being weird ....... I really miss having a boyfriend, I really miss someone liked me. Virginia, Jessica, and Kayla all have boyfriends and I don't know ... I don't understand why no one likes me. Lately the only boys that like me are the ones that think I am just "hot." I want someone to like me because of my personality ..... Right now the only boy that I am some what interested in is Jeff, but I know that is never going happen. God I hate summer, seriously summer is the worst time. I always get uber depressed. I miss the old Matt, the one that use to e-mail me and see how I was doing. I e-mailed him to see if he had "The It Crowd" and he just said " conrad has them ... " wow you can't say anything more. You are a total ass ( I bet he has a girlfrient now or something) feeeeeeck ................................. seriously I hate men.

neon colors

Today I went to the mall with Ashley Smith. We walked around looking at all the ugly clothes and then when we went to Zumiez I met the cutest/coolest boy ever ! Pretty sure he was flirting with Ashley more than me but oh well. HE TALKED TO US ! I got a new shirt, it is pretty cute I guess ... I hate school SO MUCH HOMEWORK ! Jeff S. said hi to me without me having to say "hi" first. [please ask me on a date].

Vent of 4/21

I really hate when people text you and say "we need to talk." Maybe I do not want to talk, maybe I really don't feel like discussing anything right now. I know what is going to happen. Today, at lunch, [you] probably discussed your little beef with me to megan e. and she probably backed you up and everything. You'll call me and expect me to apologize, well I already said I was sorry on Saturday so forget about me saying it again. I hate when two friends get in a fight because then their friends have to hear both sides each making the other one look bad. Sorry to everyone that had to hear about what happened on Saturday, it is not your problem.

Friday night

Ellen made me watch this BBC show called The Mighty Boosh. It is effing funny. Here is a clip from the episode with Old Greg (my favorite one so far)

you'll love it I promise.

Last night Ellen came over and we ate good Chinese food from Zen Garden and started working on this stupid project for AP. We were suppose to finish it last night but instead Kate L. came over and we watched The Mighty Boosh and The Mummy. We seriously had so much fun yelling "I'm Old Greg ... I have a mangina !" My mom and dad were slightly disturbed. Last night would have been perfect if we would have made pancakes Mmmmm ..... We have to get together today and probably tomorrow in order to finish this stupid pro-ject. But this will have to happen AFTER I get from Montrose, yes I have to go to MonTROSE to meet my sister and have lunch with her*damn* Seriously I am mad at Ellen for showing me this awesome show, I am just watching it right now, over and over. haha.

Earlier today Tessa and I went and cleaned up part of the highway by FMHS. It was really nice just talking to her, we seriously talked about everyone we knew. We both agree that Kristin didn't deserve to be treated so horribly by Danny.Bleh men are total dogs 99.99999 % of the time. But like I have said before, they are so irresistible. Especially Zack in my espanol class, he is so cute in a " I'm totally out of it" sorta way. But w/e.

I got all A's on my quizzes I took in physical science, language, and math. I felt so good, A's make me smile = ) Yeah I am a nerd, screw you guys .....

SLEEP

I haven't been able to sleep tonight. I am way too stressed out about college right now. What if Mesa is the only school that accepts me ? That would be horrible considering I really want to go to either CU or CSU. Well it won't help at 3:36 in the morning worry about it I guess.

Today I have an espanol test ..... crap !
I need to start applying for jobs.

Will texted me last night and offered to bring me over some icecream since I wasn't feeling well. Why can't someone else like me as much as he likes me ? Srsly.

Today I feel completely ugly and worthless ... I effing hate having this mouth probelm. It makes me feel so uncomfortable = (

[he] didn't reply last night to my text, I need to get over him. ERRRRGH

GG

So today I had another surgery on my mouth. Now my mouth is numb and I can't eat anything ......... you should see the whole in my mouth IT IS HUGE !

Only 1 more day until JUNO comes out on dvd, yay !

Please say Virginia remembers to burn my 3oh!3 cd (since Paul is too stupid to do it)

This Friday I am going to have a little get together at my house that will include chinese food,cupcakes and TONS of movies (most likely one of them will be Across the Universe) I am so looking forward to it. I wonder if I should do my homework ... probably

soundtrack to summer

[sia]


[kate nash]
[blink 182]

[the sounds]

[chester french]




this blog entry with get bigger when I think of more bands

Death

So I hear I missed a good prom. Believe me, I wish I could have stayed here and done something fun like prom. Instead I was in a blizzard on Friday. We left for Denver at three and we ended up not getting to Denver until TEN ! Why you ask. They closed I 70 because of weather and accidents in two places. Well my dad being resourcful decided it would be a good idea to go through Leadville and end up by Copper Mountain. Yeah it was a good idea ... except that there was a HUGE BLIZZARD It was the scariest experience ever ! Srsly

Well after that horrific experience the funeral came. At first I didn't think I would cry, I mean I have only met Frank once or twice (he was my grandfather's brother). But when I was sitting in there in the Catholic church, surrounded by all my family members I could feel the tears coming. And it didn't get any better when Frank's son Billy (my brother's best friend) went up and read this letter to his father that he and his siblings wrote. " Dad I know we never talked about things .... " It was the saddest letter/thing I have ever heard ..... Billy could barely finish reading the letter, he had his daughter come up with him just in case he broke down and cried ..... Looking around I saw my two brothers bawling, my mom as usual crying and my dad mr. "stone hard" crying. Ladies and Gents, I cried so much. Listening to that letter I started thinking about the fact that soon my close family would be at funerals for my grandmother's and later I would be at my own parent's funeral. In this strange way I am glad I had to go to a funeral. I saw my grandfather's grave, the cemetary Frank was buried in was full of my relatives. Seeing "Anthony Velarde" made my grandfather seem real. He was born in 1917 and he died in 1973. My dad was on 24 .... I am glad Billy had so many years with his dad, even though Frank wasn't always nice.

I do have two funny stories.

1. my mom yelling at me "STOP TALKING ABOUT MUFFINS !" when she was scared we were going to die on the road

2. me asking Kevin who the cutie was at the back of the church and having him say, "You're cousin Jeffrey ....."

3. having a father from Africa perform the service and having no idea what he was saying

apple

Turns out I am leaving tomorrow for Walsenburg
My great uncle died last night so tomorrow we are leaving for a funeral.
Life works out in funny way doesn't it, luckily Garrick couldn't have gone I guess.
I told Anita but I haven't told Ellen :(

Garrick and I haven't spoken since he told me he could not go and last night when my phone was turned off he texted me to see how my weekend was and how my week was. It is funny, no one texts me unless my phone is turned off. Last night I got seven text messages, that is most in a long time.

And now I have replied to all of the text messages and now no one will reply to them. Honestly ...... grrrr ! I don't want to go to school tomorrow, maybe I will be lucky and we'll tomorrow for Walsenburg. We can't stay at our house in Pueblo because my sister is stupido and doesn't have any keys hidden anywhere ... (she is in Ft.Collins for this science thing) and will she come home early for the funeral ? Nope, because my sister does not think that like.

sorry this is so bitchy .......

kidnapping

I have this awesome dress for prom.
I am going with Ellen and Kate
Garrick backed out on me, oh well
Today We asked Jack to prom
we bought this cute princess dress and hung it on his door with a note saying " go to prom with ellen, and wear this" his dad answered the door and we drove off

I saw 21 tonight, it was amazing.
I also watched the last episode of my so called life, it made me cry
I am such a sucker ......

Matt and I have been e-mailing, he'll be home in 5 weeks, I can't wait to see him
Tonight was a good night, thanks ellen and kate !
Oh and last night Ellen and Kate came over and Anita and I had fallen asleep watching a movie, I guess they rang the door bell ten times before my mom answered the door, Anita and I need to drink more caffine or something .... that always happenes. But seriously I'm glad I have them.

WE LOVE JIM STURGIS

2 more weeks before prom.
anyone interested in going with me ?
NO

I brought this upon myself
shiiiit