doctors visits

today i got out of school early, but it wasn't that much fun. i had to go to a doctor's appointment for my scoliosis. i have an "s" curve of the spine plus another curve. she also pointed out that my back curves in ward which explains why i always feel weird when i stand tall. she gave me props on my posture though, i felt pretty proud. of course right after my mom had to add " this is the first day in months that she has had good posture .... " but oh no she didn't stop there, she also added that " i don't' really do anything." [she has also been getting on me to eat better] mind you this is after she get KFC for dinner AND says we are going to have SONIC for dinner tonight ......

after my two hour long apt. mom and i went and i am now a member of crossroads fitness center. my first Pilate's class is this Thursday.

[ i am seeing how long it takes for mom to actually go and work out]

today i was thinking about the future, at for the first time in awhile i was looking forward to it. right now i am so excited to get out of high school and go somewhere new. sure i have no idea where that will be but at least i am happy about the future. the strangest thing about me being happy about that is i am mostly looking forward to being married and having kids. which is incredibly strange for a sixteen [ almost seventeen ] year old girl to think. honestly today, and for the past week i have been coming up with names for the kids i want to have, and i have been thinking about where i want to go on my honeymoon, and what i want to cook for our first meal together. i swear i am insane sometimes.

i was reading one of my friend's blogs today and i realized, how much i wish i knew about them. it is sad that reading that made me realize how much i miss from being so caught up in what is going on in my life. i'm not a very good friends when it comes to that sort of thing. actually to be totally honest i don't think i am a very good friends at all. i want everyone to care about what is going on in my life but it seems like i very rarely ask them questions, i just wait for them to ask me questions. i hope the older i get the better i am at understanding people more, because right now i am not very good. i know my friends think i am funny but i honestly don't see why i get invited to do things. maybe right now in my life i am unsure of everything.

today i was just joking around with this boy named Drew, we were talking about short shorts and the he asked me if just wanted to check him out, jokingly i said "yeah" and his next comment was " gross." yeah i was secretly embarressed inside. i'm so use to a boy that actually liked it when i said things like that. i guess that was my first time in awhile that i remembered that most boys don't like me. i'm not sure if it is the fact that i wear weird clothes, or the fact that i am slightly bigger. or maybe the fact that i am slightly shy. i think i am a great catch, i like video games, movies, and just doing random things. i don't like anyone right now, frankly right now ever boys scares the shit out of me.

i have some things i need to think about.