1/30/09

Today was the first time in a long time that I hung out with Marie and Virginia. It was a lot of fun but I hate it how Marie is constantly hugging Virginia, I feel so unloved. Will left Thursday for a CSU visit and a KSTATE visit. I miss him a lot. I found porn in his car on Wed. I was pretty frustrated with him, he said that Kyle gave it to him and he forgot about it and just threw it on the floor of the car. He said he would get rid of it but I still don't think he did. I hate men sometimes. I just have to get over the fact that I compare all my relationships to my friends relationships, first it was Jessica and now it's Virginia. I really hate it. I am fatter than they are and my relationships are never as good as theirs. I mean I think Will likes me but he's never once told me that he loved me, that is so annoying. I watched Sleepless in Seattle tonight and all of a sudden I got in a horrible mood. It is 8:36 on a Friday night and I am home, alone watching movies by myself. God I a loser. I am a fat, loveless loser. I need a job don't forget that. I hated because Virginia and Marie both bought cute clothes and I didn't because I scared that I would spend and that have enough for the next couple of months. I just don't want my parents ...... I am so sick of life. My blog entries use to be happy, I wonder what went wrong. I need to lose weight, and that will help my self esteem and maybe I need I need say I love you first to Will, I just hope he feels the same, or else that would be really embarrassing. We've been together for 7 months now, my longest relationship. Last weekend I went out with dinner with his family and we watched a lame cowboy movie. He is the best snuggler, I call him my teddy bear.